sorry for my absence over the past few days. I have been hit with a nasty chest infection and have been bed ridden for a while. Due to this illness I have been really out of whack with my normal routine and it has sent me into somewhat of a tailspin! I had no idea how reliant I was on my routine! I always used to think of myself as really wild and spontaneous, but I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I am certainly not!
I am an extremely habitual person, something I noticed when I recently quit smoking. I was so concerned with all the stigma surrounding how difficult it can be and all the weight you can put on that I constantly convinced myself OUT of quitting smoking for years before I actually did it. The key was to changing my routines so that at the times of the day that I would normally smoke, I included somthing else that I could look forward to like a magazine at lunch times.
In addition to chanign my regualr routine, I also needed to add to it. In my anxieties about putting on weight, which is a common side effect of quitting smoking, I immediately joined Weight Watchers and hiked up my gym sessions.
Fast forward almost five months and I'm still not smoking and 10 kg lighter... and a finalist in a lingerie competition (Star in a Bra, if you haven't voted yet head to http://apps.facebook.com/starinabra-au/models/41 and vote for me)! I can barely believe what I have achieved so far.
I was reading the interviews from some of the other finalists in aforementioned modelling competition and one of them, Nadine, remenisced on making a vision board to plan for her future. She described the obligatory handsome boyfriend, nice house, great job and slimmer figure and it got me thinking what I might put on my vision board.
The more I thought about all the things I wanted, the more I realised that I had begun to set all of them in motoin already. I already have that handsome boyfriend, I'm saving money for a deposit on a house, I'm almost finished with my university degree for that great job, I also love making jewellery and plan on opening that up as a small business very very soon (more on that later) and, having just lost 10kg and on track to hit my goal weight soon, that great (not necessarily slim) figure is right here and being flaunted in a lingerie competition no less. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I am literally being the best version of myself right now (chest infection excluded).
I haven;t always been this way, in fact I have most recently been known as the 'I'm gonna' girl. You know the one who every time you see her she is always talking to you about that amazing thing she 'is gonna' do next. I was always saying, "I'm gonna start saving soon," and "I'm gonna start making jewellery," or "I'm gonna go to the gym more." Saying these things would make me feel satisfied for a short period of time, but then i would do nothing about it and fall back into my slump. I'm not saying my life was terrible, in fact it was quite satisfying thank you very much, but I always wanted a little bit more, expected a little bit more of myself.
I discussed in an earlier post about feelings of jealousy vs. feelings of admiration. Well lets just say my feelings haven't always been as rosy towards others that were living what I considered to be an enviable existence. In my eyes this would normally constitute someone with great personal style who is generally happy and easygoing with a creative/intellectual job and many interesting things to talk about, like the most recent place they travelled to and what amazing pieces they discovered there. I still reach for those things for my own life, but insetad of recognising them in others and resenting it I began to look at my own life and tweak things so that they could eventaully morph into someone I might have been envious five years ago.
If you are feeling a little disillusioned with life, start small but PLEASE START! Things will only change if you make it happen, and don;t be so concerned with everyone around you is doing. The more you think of yourself and being the best operson you can be, the mroe you will begin to realise that you are actually pretty damn great after all!
That is all for now,
Peace and Love
Serra xxx
P.S. Vote for me :)
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